What Makes a Monster?
by Arym
Summary: A worried Seras reflects on what she is becoming. A one-shot moment between Alucard and Seras, in response to a challenge from a friend. Tried to follow manga canon. Obviously AxS


Seras stared glumly at the bag of medical blood before her. She knew what was expected of her. She knew she needed it, craved it. Her body screamed at her to drink it, but her heart still recoiled. She had given in before and cursed herself for weakness, though she knew it was necessary. She knew she would just grow weaker, but her heart still wouldn't let her drink it until she couldn't take it any longer.

If she drank it, was she any better than the vampires she killed? Even though she didn't kill people for the blood… wasn't it still the same thing? Wasn't she just as guilty? What about Alucard? He wasn't like those other vampires; she knew that. But he drank blood. He killed people and drank their blood. He had drunk hers.

But, Alucard wasn't a monster, was he? People called him that; perhaps they were right. Perhaps she was only fooling herself into thinking he wasn't. After all, he wasn't human. She had a feeling he was capable of things she couldn't imagine. But he wasn't really evil, was he? Sir Integra would not allow an evil, dangerous vampire to live, would she? Or was Seras just blinded to his monstrosity because he was her master, the one who gave her this new life?

Slowly, Alucard's deep chuckle filled her head. She jumped up from her chair and whirled around, scanning the shadowy room. He emerged from the darkness across from her. His laugh withdrew from her mind and reverberated throughout the stone chamber.

"M-m-master!" she stammered.

"So, you think me a monster?" he boomed.

Seras felt her face flush red as she turned her gaze to her feet. "No! I just… I was just wondering…I…"

Alucard smirked and began moving toward her, his coat swirling with his movements. "Well, you're right. I am a monster. At least, that seems to be the only word humans have for me." The condescension dripped from his voice as he drew nearer to her. "They call me that because they fear me. And for good reason. I am a vampire. One of the original undead. I am not one of those cockroaches we hunt. Neither are you. They are scum compared to us. Nothing."

He now towered over her, so tall that she had to take a half step back to meet his red eyes with her own. Why was she suddenly more aware of his closeness, his presence? For the first time, her master's proximity, his presence in her mind brought a nervousness along with the comfort.

Alucard's smirk grew. Did he ever smile? Wasn't it always that smirk?

"But… what is it? How are we any different? You drink human blood the same as they," Seras whispered, not trusting her voice at any higher volume.

Gently, Alucard brushed her hair from her eyes, letting his hand trail down her neck. "You still don't get it, do you, Police Girl? It's our allegiance. We take pride in what we are. We don't defile our identity. Our service to Hellsing is only a part of this." He slipped one are carefully around her waist. Why did this suddenly cause her stomach to tie up in knots? His lips brushed her ear as he whispered, "You are proud of what you are, aren't you?"

And suddenly, his lips met hers, and all thought was driven from Seras's head. For a moment, her shocked body was unable to respond, but she quickly recovered. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she drew her body close to his. He tasted of blood, and a part of her rejoiced at that taste. She hadn't realized they were moving until she felt the back of her legs hit the bed. Breaking away, she lay back on the bed and looked up questioningly at him. Dropping his hat, he draped his body over hers and began kissing her neck, making his way back to her mouth. The kisses grew deeper as she tangled her fingers in his hair.

Then, as he began to pull back, she caught his lower in her mouth, felt her teeth cut the skin as he broke away. As he looked down at her, blood began to well up and stream down his chin. The mocking gleam was absent from his eyes, if only for a moment. "Drink it," he whispered huskily. "Drink my blood. Complete the transformation. Become one of us."

Unconsciously, she licked her lips. God, she wanted to. She wanted… what did she want? To be like him? She had just sat here, wondering if he was a monster. If she became one of his clan, drinking blood, then wouldn't she have to question whether she too was a monster?

Her resolve steeled once more, she met his eyes. "No. Not yet. Perhaps… perhaps that is my fate one day. But not yet. I'm not ready to accept being a monster. Or even wondering if I am."

Seras caught a flash of disappoint before she felt him begin to withdraw from her mind. "Very well. Perhaps one day." His long tongue cleaned the blood from his chin. The smug look was back, if just a little. Leaning down, Alucard gave her one last, gentle kiss. "Goodnight, Seras Victoria." And with that, he vanished.


End file.
